Sharing my 37 Week photos + pregnancy update today! Late third trimester, and a breech baby, here we go...
Third Trimester Feels
Third trimester has been interesting. My energy burst from the second trimester started to dwindle rapidly around 30-ish weeks and suddenly I was napping every single day and having bouts of nausea again. And that's still going on.
I try to not over-do it, even though I'm not great at that. But some days I have no choice but to plop on our den couch, with a snuggly blankie + just do absolutely nothing. Or listen to podcasts or music until they put me to sleep.
All the naps please!...
...Quick shoutout to my new Barefoot Dreams throw which has some magic powers and puts me to sleep in minutes like every time! Also shoutout to this Beyond Yoga hooded onesie that I could easily live in right now. If they still sold it I would buy five more. #NotSponsoredJustObsessedWithCozyThings
So!.....
Pregnancy Drama -- or lack of it
The hearty part of this Third Trimester Pregnancy Update...
If you've been following along, you already know that my road to pregnancy was filled with drama. I have kept a good chunk of my journey private, but I did share the IVF/ infertility part. And I am SO glad I did because getting DMs and emails from you guys saying my story has helped - has been the most heart-warming experience. Seriously. I know that painful path and I share a huge hug with each one of your struggling. I see you.
Infertility was enough drama for me, thank you.
And I expected pregnancy to be scary and hard and drama-filled for me, given all my high risk circumstances, age (39 here!) and IVF status being a few of them. But besides crazy nausea and continued IVF meds in T1 ..... there was not much to worry over.
Wait, I feel GOOD!
And once I made it to the second trimester, and announced my pregnancy - I started to actually feel amazing. Less stressed and fearful. More excited that this was working!
....Then COVID hit. It has made everything more challenging, but it has not taken away my happy pregnancy mood. This is still the happiest I have been in a long time! Baby girl on the way. Cue the sparkles and moonbeams.
So yeah, overall, no pregnancy complications, or any emergency phone calls or doctor visits. *Hands in the air!*
But wait for it, wait for it....
Current Mood.
"I carefully leaned upside-down, on my head - as I had seen in a YouTube video - a pint of ice cold Ben & Jerry's non-dairy ice cream on my belly button because I didn't have peas. My husband walked by, gave me a weird look and I sunk down off the side of the bed, rolled flat onto the floor, and felt like this was definitely a low point."
These past few weeks my brain has been spinning a bit.
At my 34 week appointment I found out that my head-down baby had flipped - and was now frank breech. Definitely not the worst thing in the world, but still...
You see, for over ten years, doctors have always told me that if I did *ever* actually get pregnant, I would need a c-section. So getting HERE, after a few surgeries and amazing doctors intervening etc, the possibility of not having a c-section felt miraculous. Exciting, in so many ways! I was good to go!
So to get breech / c-section news was a bit jarring....
Breech Baby
I laid there on the cool table, that crinkly paper riding up my back, cool jelly slathered on my tummy like Vegenaise on a sandwich. I was asking random questions through my mask, wide eyes on the ultrasound screen, trying to play "Where's Waldo?" with my baby. Is that a head? Foot? I don't see anything but wiggly lines...
Then my doctor squinted and said, "oh yup, she flipped... That could mean a c-section."
My initial response was, "Oh wow. Ok. That's ok. We'll deal with this like everything else." Shrug.
Honestly, I was barely phased when I first found out.
I had been expecting something to go not perfectly, and maybe this was it.
I just had one third trimester goal: get baby here safely! Any which way.
The Opinions of Others...
But then I got back in the car, took off my mask, sanitized my hands (again) and told my husband. (Spouses are still not allowed into appointments.) Then I clicked on my phone and started googling. I also searched through my Facebook due date groups for c-section and breech baby stories....
And suddenly, alllllll the advice, opinions, warnings, tips and tricks flooded my screen and frazzled my calm mind -- like a gust of wind, blowing all the leaves off of an old sturdy tree. I suddenly felt naked, confused. Wait, maybe I wasn't supposed to be calm?
In the days that followed, my worry got worse. I felt overwhelmed by grief for the birth I envisioned all while feeling shame over the situation. Did I do something wrong? Did I sit wrong? Sleep wrong? Breathe wrong?
And with so many voices flinging advice and tricks my way, I soon felt like maybe I wasn't doing enough to try and FLIP the baby.
Pro Observation: Almost everyone you talk to will have a "baby flipping trick..." And for a FTM like me, of course I was curious..
Cut to a few mornings later....
I woke up, walked to the freezer and pulled out some supplies.
I then went back into my bedroom and carefully leaned over the bed, upside-down, on my head - as I had seen in a YouTube video - a pint of ice cold Ben & Jerry's ice cream on my belly button .. because I didn't have peas.
My husband walked by, and gave me a weird look as I sunk down off the side of the bed, rolling flat onto the floor.
This was definitely a low point.
...The non-dairy ice cream glared back at me. The flavor: Non-dairy "Netflix & Chill." Was this a sign? Was Ben or Jerry speaking directly to me as I sprawled on the floor?
"Kathy, this is Ben, put my ice cream back in the freezer and CHILL. Watch some Netflix. Something funny. Reruns of The Office. Kay, see ya."
Who knew vegan ice cream could be so prophetic?
And as I further tried to "fix" this breech baby problem, the only thing I learned was that...
Trying "All the Things" Made Me Feel Like More of a Failure
I could tell my attempts were not working. So suddenly, I was failing at mom-ing. Already. I knew that was all in my head, but I still felt it.
Imagine me, pregnancy hormones raging, crying on the floor, sobbing "I can't even flip my own baby!" Ok, that never actually happened, but you get the idea. And it would make a slightly comical scene in a movie I think. Real, but comical.
Eventually, I stopped trying breech baby flipping 'tricks.'
Good thing, because as I have later researched, some of them can actually be quite dangerous. Pro-Tip: Don't get advice off the internet, unless it's anecdotal and taken with a HUGE grain of salt. Ask you trusted doctor. Even "research" and "studies" can be spotty these days.
Next Ultrasound
So, all I could do was wait until my next ultrasound at 36 weeks...
And sure enough, she was still breech.
The doctor gave me a few medical options that I won't share here, because I don't want to get into medical advice - just my anecdotal story. But overall, the decisions were all on me in the end. And that feels scary.
But deep breath, in this moment, writing this, I feel good.
I Just Needed Time
Research, talk to people your trust, get as many facts as possible from your doctor.
For me, it all comes down to gathering info, then trusting my gut.
Sometimes this takes time.
It took a good long week for me to feel like a mess, all while having our car broken into and some other random drama happen - eesh - but I finally found my center and calm and gut feeling.
Now We Wait!
Breech baby or not. All I can do now is wait. Maybe she'll flip on her own, maybe not. I'm ok with both paths. These next few weeks will fly by I'm sure. All I can do is shut out stress, take care of myself, eat well, try to sleep, hydrate, and prep last minute baby stuff.
Staying happy + chill is my end of third trimester goal so that I can be in the best mental place for the big day and the weeks that follow!
When All Else Fails, Shift Your Perspective.
I won't go into my decisions or specifics, but all I can say is that when I was feeling really torn and stressed, what got me to this other side of decision-making -- feeling GOOD about it - was a shift of perspective.
When all else fails, shift your perspective! Maybe just not by literally standing on your head..... lol.
Bump-Date Photos: 37w
So yeah, that's it! I cannot believe she will be here in a few weeks! Mind-blown!
And here are my happy pregnancy week 37 photos. Capturing my mood, body and emotions via DIY photos always makes me feel bright and shiny and powerful.
It's like taking a very wide step back and seeing myself from .... well, a fresh perspective!
DIY Pandemic Pregnancy Photoshoots at Home
I have loved taking my own photos every few weeks and watching my body change and grow and create a human!!
What did you do during the pandemic??? "Oh, I created a few legs, eyes, basically a whole real person." Pretty amazing, yes?
Chasing Down Motherhood.
...Gonna catch this bad boy very soon I think.
Total caterpillar to butterfly feels.
Prepped, Ready, Nested.
And yet not ready at all. But maybe that's the fun part. Yup, I think that's gonna be the fun part. Bring it.
Third Trimester Strength
I have to say that I thought I would be a puddle of mush carrying a human this far.
But as cliché as it sounds, witnessing what the female mind, body and spirit can pull off, first hand, has been pretty amazing. And I haven't even brought my kid into the world yet!!
Important: I think all women, mothers or not, have this strength inside of them. But pregnancy really does reveal that strength to you - especially if you struggle with finding it, like I once did.
Basically, I can't imagine being anything but STRONG for the little human that will be looking up to me.
"The Pregnancy Glow"
First trimester: Where the heck is my glow? I'm just sweating and vomiting over here. And I look like crap.
Second trimester: Oh, ok, I feel it, I'm glowing yes??? Look at me.
Third trimester: Ohhhhhhhh, that wasn't the real glow. THIS is "the glow!" It's actually a warmth and buzz that you feel on the inside. That tiny person shining through. Depending on you. The glow isn't YOU .... it's THEM.
I'm ready for you little person, come on out when you are ready! ~ K
Thank you for checking out my Third Trimester Pregnancy Update!
Comment note: If you have gone through having a breech baby or c-section, I love positive stories, just no heard core advice or "tricks" for me right now. Thank you! But really, all the positive stories of labor, send them my way! xoxo
Dr. Lauren Hedrix D.C. says
very nice… i really like your blog…
Usually I never comment on blogs but your article is so convincing that I never stop myself to say something about it.
Thanks for the post.
Amy Paulsen-Reed says
There's no "right" or "better" way to give birth. Follow your gut and do what feels right for you (within medical advice, of course!). My daughter had the worst time latching, so I used a plastic nipple over my breast, which worked great. Everyone online urged using this only as a crutch, and to stop using it as soon as possible. But it had been a big deal for her just to figure that out. Every time I tried to "train" her not to use it, it was so stressful for both of us. So I stopped. And then I felt guilty, like a failure. Then, a friend asked, "What's the reasoning behind everyone urging you to stop using this? " Hmmm. No one really had any! She said, "Look, if this is working for you, then do it! You're the mom, and you know what's best for your baby. Follow your gut." Best advice ever! So I used that thing until I stopped breastfeeding and it was awesome. Just say no to mom guilt! I'm so excited for you. You got this! (P.S. I have used your smoothie book several times a week for years now. You're a genius with smoothies! )
Kathy Patalsky says
Also realized I replied to this TWICE bc that's my 100% pregnancy (and didn't sleep well at all last night) brain happening. lol
Kathy Patalsky says
Thanks for that Sara! I'm so glad your second c-section was a better experience. I have heard that before from women who have had both emergency and scheduled. And 42 weeks! Man, I can only imagine my poor husband dealing w a 42 week me lol. I've been a pretty mild complainer, but in the end my heartburn and discomfort has peaked!
And this had me smiling and nodding my head... " there is a ton of BS out there." True true! Gosh, I never realized what mom shaming actually meant until I joined some mom groups and due date groups -- and I'm not even a practicing mom yet! Luckily, being at my ripe 'old age' of 39 I feel like my BS meter is pretty well defined at this point. I adore hearing from other women and anecdotal stories, but in the end, you do have to trust your doctors as well as that little voice inside your head that you have to live w everyday. <3
Kathy Patalsky says
Thank you for that Kris! These positive stories mean so much to me. And yes, focusing on just getting her here safely at this point. I guess I feel like I can handle pain and awfulness if it comes, but in the end I just want both her and myself to come out healthy and happy! Even if that means a sturdy recovery time. Longterm goals here!! 🙂 xo
Kathy Patalsky says
Thank you for sharing that Carolyn. I hope you are doing well! We are so close. My actual dd is the 20th, but we'll see what happens... I've been feeling this third trimester mood the past few days! Tired, can't get comfy and I can tell she's trying to bust out ... just at the wrong end lol. Sending you lots of good thoughts for your big day coming up! We've been through a crazy 9 months to get here!!! xo
Kathy Patalsky says
Thank you for sharing that Teresa! Your positive energy can definitely be felt through this screen! I'm so glad it worked out for you. I wonder if this phase of overthinking everything is the hardest part! Googling definitely wears you down! And rural Alaska sounds really beautiful and lovely right about now!! 🙂
Kathy Patalsky says
Thanks Meagan. I have heard that a lot to get moving ASAP. I hope that's something I'm able to push through if that's how things go. I'm sorry you had a difficult labor experience. I hope it's something that eventually gets better, but can also see how that sort of trauma can last a long time. It seems like the one thing you can count on for a labor experience is to expect nothing and hope for the best.
Meagan says
I had an unexpected c-section 2 years ago and I've been struggling a lot because of my birth experience. Prepare the best you can, but know that if it doesn't go how you want or expected it, you're not alone. If you have a c-section, start walking AS SOON as they say you can. It will make it all so so so much better.
Teresa says
You got this! I had my little gal almost two years ago. She was a surprise breech baby. The doctor didn't realize she was breech until I was already in labor. I had an emergency c section and everything turned out great! She is super healthy, she breastfed like a champ, and to this day she is a great eater. I was almost thankful that I didn't know she was breech beforehand because I know I would have also been Googling like crazy. I also live in rural Alaska and was still able to have the surgery in our local small hospital. It takes time to recover, but it's all so worth it and amazing.
carolyn says
You look beautiful! I think we might be due same time, I'm Aug 11. This is my 3rd baby and officially in the womb the longest out of the 3 today.
My 1st was an emergency csection. While it wasnt the birth I hoped for, the end result was...a healthy beautiful baby boy. Be gentle on yourself and take it easy!
Kris says
Momma, you are strong and you are ready! What a blessed baby! I think you hit it on the head when you said, "all that matters is getting her here safely". Trust your gut, pray, and know it will all be ok. I had two c-sections and spent a long time mourning the births I did not get to experience. But, I was blessed with two healthy children, who are thriving. Enjoy these precious days. Thank you for sharing your story. Hugs!
Kathy Patalsky says
Thank you for the good vibes and for sharing that Liz! The 'kourtney kardashian birth,' can someone trademark that? Haha. I actually didn't see that scene but now I need to google ... even though I can already totally picture it haha. And everyone says that.. "once the baby is in your arms you won’t care" so I'm going to believe you guys! Definitely feels like it will be true. <3
Kathy Patalsky says
Thanks Lauren for sharing that! And for the good vibes! <3 I always wonder if we can feel those flips! I don't remember her flipping a few weeks ago, but at this point I'm feeling everything so can kinda tell where her head is at. But yes, letting her do what she wants right about now. Independent spirit daughter coming my way, haha.
Kathy Patalsky says
Haha, yeah my energy drop was making it realllly hard to take new photos, but I finally pulled it off! Probably my last DIY session. It's been fun + a nice little pandemic hobby, ha. No idea what will happen but feeling good! Thanks for reading, I'm so glad you enjoy these posts!
Kathy Patalsky says
Thank you Lydia for sharing. <3 I so agree!!
Kathy Patalsky says
Thank you for this Sara! I hear sooooo many stories like this where the induction turns into a mess and then a c-section follows. I know I would gladly handle anything at this point, but that does sound simply awful. And then other inductions go perfectly! Same with non-induced births. It's such a crapshoot and I think not knowing what will happen is a big part of the worry for many.
It's such a personal thing and I've talked with so many moms who have serious trauma around their labor story and then others who rave about it and simply glow when recalling it. So I'm trying to mentally prepare for both outcomes while really just focusing on the AFTER part of mom-ing!
But yeah, agree that there is so much misinformation on the internet and what matters is getting baby OUT safely! That's 100% my number one goal. Thanks again for sharing your story. <3
Sara says
Kathy,
I love your blog and thank you for sharing your story.
When I was pregnant, I was all....I'm going to have a natural birth, no epidural...my kids are only going to be breastfeed and eat organic perfect food later on. And yeah, that didn't happen but that's ok!
With my first, I had to be induced at 42 weeks. The labor was long and getting the epidural was a mess. Then, after hours of pushing, I gave up for the c-section. I was a wreck physically and mentally afterward.
The doctors were pushing me to do VBAC for the second but I wasn't even sure I wanted to attempt it. I ended up needing to do the scheduled c-section -she was breech and I needed it for other reasons. It was soooo much easier. Everything was so much calmer, the meds went into my back with no problem and the doctors weren't rushing. The recovery was much faster too.
As I'm sure you know from blogging, there is a ton of BS out there. Especially with mom stuff.....people making you feel less of a mom because you have to have a c-section or use formula or do xyz. All that matters is that you and your little one are healthy. In 5 years, no one is going to know which kid came out which way or how they were fed.
Good luck for a smooth delivery!
Lydia Rehrman says
I had twins 18 years ago, and with one being breech, they did a c-section. It's not what I have wanted either, but it was fine. As long as you and the baby are healthy, it doesn't matter how she gets here. Lots of love to you!
Sue Sue says
Yay, a pregnancy update - with photos! I love your writing. And you look beautiful! Babies flip and flop during late pregnancy; keep up the positive attitude. Thanks for sharing.
Lauren says
My daughter flipped to breach at 36 weeks. Like you, I tried every trick I could find but nothing worked, so I finally just let her be. Then one night at 38.5 weeks, she flipped herself. She was 23 inches at birth, so a very long baby and the experience was absolutely wild. You never know what can happen. But no matter what, bringing your baby into this world will be amazing. Sending lots of love and good vibes.
Liz says
Hi Kathy, I had c-sections with both my pregnancies. I would have preferred vaginal in both cases but that’s not how things turned out. (Failed induction for 1st and then emergency c-section due to preeclampsia for 2nd). I wanted that kourtney kardashian Birth scene where she pulls out her own baby 🤪 so I had to mourn that I didn’t get that. But there are actually some upsides to having a c section and I can honestly say my second one the recovery was easy peasy (first one not as much bc I was induced for 3 days before so my whole body was a wreck). The actual procedure is pretty darned quick and if your going to have a planned c section it can reduce anxiety knowing when the baby will be arriving. It really is true that having a healthy baby is most important and once the baby is in your arms you won’t care as much as you might think about what kind of delivery you had. With that said I totally get all the feelings you’re feeling!! Sending good vibes your way!